Lesbian Porn is Hot but if My Daughter is Gay... That Is SinWhat is a Lesbian? A female presenting person who is emotionally, physically, and or sexually attracted to other female presenting persons. Or if you do a quick Google Image Search, two hot chicks that strip and fuck for lonely men on a Saturday night. The biggest news about Lesbians in the last 20 years was Ellen Degeneres coming out of the closet, and you would have thought Ronald Regan had come back from the dead and announced he was a Communist. The Left was in love with the idea, and the Right was ready to burn ABC studios to the ground and salt the Earth.
Chick on Chick Action... or Lesbians Are Not Performing for you, Bro!
Lesbians, in popular media, are usually represented in a very narrow set of roles. There is the man-hating lesbian that is either a tough, bitchy lawyer or truck driver, and want's nothing more than the destruction of every penis on Earth. Then there is the simple, seduced lesbian led astray by the older, more experienced lesbian, that will turn straight when the right man comes along. You can also see the prison lesbian, that is only into chicks because she's in the slammer, and needs protection or companionship. Very rarely do you see the well-adjusted, dentist, with two kids that's just trying to provide for her family, and oh yeah, she's a lesbian.
What Do You Mean Lesbians aren't from the Middle East?
Lesbians come in every form, profession, and attitude. From what I hear there are lesbians who have never been molested, never had a physical encounter with men at all. There are those who have known they were not attracted to men from a very early age, and don't regret never having touched a penis. These members of the female race also have male friends that they don't secretly have an attraction for, and aren't waiting to be noticed by. They also tend to not want to rape every other woman to whom they are attracted. That seems to be a fantasy perpetuated online that only exist on porn video sites.
So this makes me ask the question, if they don't hate men, or secretly yearn for men, why do men feel that lesbianism is a form of performance art, and all women, and especially lesbians just need "a good deep dicking?" Could it be because the male ego can't accept the fact that women can exist independently of men? Could it be that women are, on the whole, less judgmental than men? Also, would the reason fall to the perspective that men only want one thing, and maybe some women wouldn't mind having some of that too, so we feel a competition to grab as much as we can, before it's all gone? Men are very competitive, and don't like to share, so I could see the last part. Also, most of the rest seems to be true. We don't like the idea that maybe we aren't the pinnacle of human attraction. Think of men like a petulant three year old children, who can't stand the idea that anyone want's to do anything other than devote 100% attention to them. When someone else comes along and takes that attention we sit on the ground, kick our feet and scream obscenities at the object of our attention seeking.
Gay, Ghey, Ga-hay... #NoHomo
\For the purposes of this post, Gay is going to refer to male presenting persons who have a physical or an emotionally sexual attraction to other male presenting persons. Or for the bros, dudes who like dudes. Male homosexuality has a long and noble history, fraught with conflict, love, passion, myth, legend, lies, truth and a smattering of actual information. I think a suitable quote comes from George R.R. Martin's great HBO show, Game of Thrones: Diana Rigg as Olenna Tyrell: "...it’s a natural thing, two boys having a go at each other between the sheets..." This is one of the best quotes I've ever heard regarding male Homosexuality.
History of the Gay... or A Funny thing Happened to Me on the Way to the Colosseum...
There is a story I have heard since I was much younger, about how Homosexuality was encouraged in the ancient Roman Legions, because it was thought the soldiers would fight harder for a lover, than just another guy they were fighting beside. Whether true or not, I still find it an awesome story, and wonder why, when we hold the Roman Legions to be the original badass soldiers, it took so long for other militaries to come around to this thought. Gays in the U.S. have been persecuted pretty much since the Pilgrims landed on the East Coast looked west and said, "We'll settle here, the gays can go that way."Then nothing else happened in the Gay life until about 1969, at a little New York Bar, called Stonewall. Apparently a gay guy got drunk and burned the town down. I'm not real sure, because I wasn't even conceived yet. Oh, wait a second, apparently there was a lot of abuse of gays and lesbians, and after 200 years of oppression, degradation, and humiliation, that culminated in the raiding of the bar on June 28th, they finally said “Fuck it”, and fought back. I assume with a humorous lisp.
This brought national attention to the situation, and even though it didn't happen over night, things started getting better. Then the 1980's happened. The Republican Party took this whole Gay is bad creed and ran with it. Reagan became the U.S. President, and when the AIDS epidemic started sweeping across the world, he completely ignored it. Reagan refused to even say the words AIDS or HIV. One cannot talk about homosexuality in the 1980's without also talking about the AIDS epidemic, because at that time, AIDS was the "gay disease”. According to the Public Broadcast System, PBS, in 1981 the New York Times was the first to quantitatively report on this new, rare disease among 41 gay men in New York City. ACTUP (AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power) formed in 1987, and started a media and information campaign to bring the spotlight to the epidemic of AIDS, particularly in the LGBTQ community. And all this fear and vitriol was used as fuel to keep gay men and women out of the military.
Gays in the Military ... or the Most Fabulous Army in the World
In 1993, one of the, supposedly, most liberal Presidents we had ever had signed a bill into law, called Don't Ask Don't Tell, which said you could serve in the Military if you were gay, as long as you didn't talk about it. It's kind of like the relative that wears their underpants on the outside. You have to invite them over to Thanksgiving, but no one really talks to them, or tries to get them to wear the undies on the inside, in case you have another "Incident", like "that one time", and is Uncle Bertie still shaking?
We, as a country, have excluded homosexuals from serving openly, in all branches of service, since George Washington chased some snappily-dressed British around the country for several years. It was thought that their limp wrists would not be able to manipulate a firearm, or something. The problem is that many gay men and women have served, and served with valor and distinction since those very same days. We knew that they could serve, fight and die for our country, or whatever trumped up reason we had for going to war at the moment, but if they acknowledged that they preferred shagging members of the same gender, that immediately negated anything they had done up to then. Just admitting you are gay, suddenly means you are nothing else, and never were.
The Spy that Loathed Himself
The same held true for the spy agencies in the United States. To admit to being gay was an immediate terminable offence. It was the cause of blackmail and could ruin your life. There were and are many gay men and women in the Intelligence community, everyone knew and currently knows it, and yet for some reason it was defacto criminalized, causing it to be a tool and handle for those "so afflicted."
Who's Bi-ing This?
Bisexuals are those who are sexually attracted to both men and women. They can be either men or women, and are the unloved outcast of the different Queer communities, or the sexually ambiguous sluts of the Straight and Narrow crowd.
I Bi Sex when I Need To
Bisexuality is both a bridge and an equality gap between the straight and non-straight communities. Bisexuals are perceived to be either experimenting until they make up their minds, or just "trying to fit in" with other queers, without really committing one way or the other. It is seen as ambiguity, so that the person doesn't have to commit. They can swing either way, so depending on the crowd they are with, they will be comfortable. They can "act" to suit their audience.
According to the American Psychological Association, one of the reasons that it is difficult to quantify bisexuality is because of the prejudice faced by others in the Queer spaces. If they are in a homosexual relationship they are lumped in with other those homosexual groups. People seem to have a hard time accepting that you are non-conforming in a traditionally non-conforming group.
Disclaimer: Even though I am currently in a very committed and loving heterosexual relationship, and have never experienced a homosexual relationship, I have been attracted to both men and women in the past. My own lack of experience in this space is more a cause of situation than conformity. It's hard for me to label myself, when I've only ever experienced one type of relationship. So while I don't really call myself Bisexual I do identify more with bi, than true gay or true straight.
Transgender people are those born as one gender, either male or female, who transition to the other, either psychologically or physiologically. Transgenders, much like bisexuasl, are kind of the outcasts among several different groups, because of their very nature. Those transitioning to men, are usually just thought of as dykes, and those transitioning to women are just grouped in with fags, even by their homosexual peers.
Transgender, until even more recently than homosexuality, was listed as a disorder in the DSM. It has been recently been categorized as Gender Identity Disphoria, which means it is not a mental disorder, but rather a mild gender confusion.
Transgender men and women are becoming more outspoken about their rights, and as such are becoming a larger and larger target among the Queer and non-Queer communities. There is a group of feminists, the Transgender Exclusionary Radical Feminists, or TERFS, that deny Transwomen the identity of women, simply because they once had a cock. This is a discounting of the idea of ANYONE being a feminist that wasn't born with a vagina. This says no men can be feminists, which just isn't true. There is a male feminist writing this blog post.No matter what your assigned gender, you have the right to change that, through the legal system and the miracle of modern surgery. If you are a man, physically, but a women, mentally and emotionally, then you have the right to sync those two up. Same if you are physically a woman, but are a man where it matters, then you have the right to change the physical to accommodate the mental. Anyone who tells you differently is just balls wrong.
|CeeCee McDonald photo via:|
The transgender community faces both the same challenges as, and even more, when dealing with the non-Queer societies they live in. There have been several recent cases of transphobia that have turned violent. One is the case of CeeCee McDonald, a young transgender woman who, with some friends walking home from a bar one night, were accosted by up to 5 people. CeeCee defended herself, and one of the attackers was killed during the altercation. CeeCee is now serving 41 months, or 3 and half years. Her attackers were never charged with any crime.
|Islan Nettles via:|
Another, more recent case, is that of Islan Nettles, another young transgender woman, walking home from a bar with a group of friends, who was accosted, beaten and has now died from that beating. There is a suspect in custody in this case.
Queer, How Normal
In this post, I'm using the word Queer in terms of community. The Queer community is inclusive of the L, the G, B, and the T, for the most part. The history of the word is just as queer as the modern Queer philosophy. Queer used to mean strange or unusual, but somewhere in the mid 1800's it changed to mean a person, usually a man, who was strange because he liked to have sex with other men, and that was against GAWD! Then in the mid-70's gay men and women took the word as as a label they could use, to mock the hetero-power structure, much like Black Americans took 'N' word and used it as a way to identify themselves, rather than letting it have power over their identity.The fact that we have a distinction between the two types of marriage is a violation of the First Amendment. Because marriages are legal in some states, but not in others, and even marriages that are initiated in "gay marriage" state, those couples cannot have their marriages recognized in other states, which is a violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amenemdnet: Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. (emphasis added by author)
The fact that we have a distinction between the two types of marriage is a violation of the First Amendment, as most of these laws are based on the religious biases of the authors, and ultimately abridges a form of speech. Because marriages are legal in some states, but not in others, and even marriages that are initiated in "gay marriage" state, those couples cannot have their marriages recognized in other states, which is a violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amenemdnet: Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. (emphasis added by author)
DOMA - Defense of Marriage Act... Who Signed This?!?
In 1996, then President Bill Clinton Signed a veto proof bill called the Defense of Marriage Act. In short it said that, in the United States, marriage would only be recognized as being between opposite gendered couples, at the Federal level. That meant that marriages between same sex couples would not receive Federal benefits, such as Social Security survivor benefits, and would have to pay exorbitant taxes on property and inheritance. It also meant that the the U.S. Government would ignore the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment, when it came to protection of the rights of same-sex couples when crossing interstate borders.
Bill Clinton was supposed to be the Liberal President. He was the man who was supposed to save the political Left. He ran on a platform of inclusivity and broadening rights, and protecting the poor. Then he signs DADT, DOMA and kills Glass-Steagall, three of the things he vowed not to do. DADT and DOMA were finally done away with, under the next Liberal Savior, Barack Obama. But it was not due to Obama's efforts. It wasn't until the crazy, kookie V.P. Joe Biden threw him under the bus on DADT and DOMA that Obama had a philosophical evolution that allowed him to come out of the Left Closet, and say it was okay for Gays to serve openly and get married. He had no say in this matter. Marriage needs to evolve in this country into a contract, and that is it. Finally in Ohio, recently "... U.S. District Judge Timothy S. Black declared that the Court’s ruling was pointing toward that issue. He also applied some of the equality principles in the Windsor majority opinion to support his order." This is the first time in U.S. History that equal protection has been used to allow the acceptance of "same-sex marriage" to enforce a law in a non-same-sex State. This could be precedent setting, in more cases, to challenge the State-by-State Constitutional Amendments outlawing same-sex marriages.
Let people live their lives, as long as they aren't harming you or someone else. And no, just because someone does something that contradicts your book of myths, does not mean they are doing harm to you or someone else. The arguments against same-sex marriage include, it will allow pedophilia, it won't, we have other laws to protect children from predators. Another is that it will allow Pologymy, or Polyamoury, so what? As long as the participants are entering into that relationship understanding what it means, or are not being forced into it, big fucking deal. Let them live their lives. And finally, it will allow a person to marry their dog or children. Really? Fucking really? You trust the judges of this land to sentence people to die for crimes, but not to say, "No, you can't marry your pet or children, you sick fucker." Gay rights is an issue I am very passionate about, because you don't know who is or will be gay.
My son could discover a non-heteronormative sexuality when he gets older, and I don't want him to be told, "Your love is wrong." Your kid could be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, does that mean you will stop loving them, or stop wanting what is best for them? If it does, then please take your children to closest orphanage and have them placed with a couple that actually gives a shit about them. I've heard from so many of my friends, growing up in Oklahoma, that if their kids were gay, they, the children, would be disowned or beaten, until they change their minds, but not once have I heard, "If my kid has red hair, I'll kick him out of the house or beat him until his hair is blonde."
I don't care if you think it is a choice, I really don't. Even if it is a choice, it is not YOUR choice. You don't have to like it that someone is gay, just like they don't have to like your bigotted ass. A kind of weird reference for what I consider a serious post, but Cracked had one of the best takes on the overturning of DOMA, you can find it here.